2020 · Change · Integrity · Life · Life Changes · Life Lessons · New Normal · Uncategorized

It’s Finally December…

We’ve finally made it to December! The final stretch in what has been a very long year. I hope you all came out of it relatively unscathed.

For many of us, this has been a year of learning. About ourselves and others. We’ve seen some good and some bad. Some have lost loved ones. Some have lost friends. Either because of Covid or by other means. One thing I have learned, not just this year but in years and months leading up to 2020, is to watch what people say and things people post. These things speak volumes. The way someone speaks to you shows more about them than it does you. It took a while but after one confrontation early this year I decided I needed to take a step back, so I could see things more clearly. I still wasn’t ready to let go though. Even after my integrity and character were attacked. I’m a slow bloomer I suppose. So…After the 3rd, and final, confrontation, I took the final step back and closed the doors.

So, going into the new year, if I’ve learned anything, It’s to be kind. Speak kindly to people. Just because someone isn’t as intelligent as you, doesn’t converse the way you think they should, doesn’t make them any less of a person and undeserving of kind words.

Change · Family · Life · Life Changes · Loss · New Normal · Uncategorized

RIP Dad

What a week this has been. My last post was about the end of life and that time has come. My dad left us at 4am this morning. My mom woke me up and my first thought was “thank you Jesus” because now he is at rest. He has his perfect heavenly body. Completely healed and the best of all…He is with Jesus, whom he loved so much.

Our church family has been with us every step of the way and I couldn’t ask for better people in my life. So now mom and I carry on together. We’re sad because he isn’t with us anymore but rejoicing because he is in the arms of Jesus, where he’s wanted to be for so long.

So…Here’s to ya dad. Love you and we will miss you but we’ll see you again one day.

And above all…thank you for being the dad you didn’t have to be…

Family · Life · Life Changes · Loss · Uncategorized

A Little Thinking Out loud

Recently I was told that I think my life is worse than others. I don’t, but there are things going on in my life that are exceptionally difficult. Daily dealing with a person who is dying is hard, especially when it’s a parent. Death is a part of life and, I’d hope, every adult knows this. When my father died, it was instant. A massive heart attack and he was gone. This is much different. dementia and Parkinson’s is a hellish thing that no one should have to go through. I’m not sure what is worse…living with these afflictions or watching them play out daily. Some days you just wish it would end and one day it will. Then what?

Mom and I have had some good talks and the other day I said that, in the end, there will so many emotions. Relief that it’s over, guilt for feeing the relief, sorrow….you get my point.

So much is up in the air. The only thing that is sure is that God is in control and everything happens in his time.

2020 · Change · Friends · Life · Life Changes · Loss · Music · Uncategorized

Can We Turn Back Time?

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I think we need to turn back the clock to December 31, 2019 and start this year over….Only with a better outcome. This week has been especially weird. My friend’s mother passed away. Another friend of a friend went into the hospital and may not make it. Last night another friend’s grandpa died.  None of these are covid related. And on top of all of that…..

Melissa Etheridge’s son died of a drug overdose

and….

I cut my finger at work.

Stick a fork in me, I’m done….

Change · church · Covid-19 · Life · Life Changes · New Normal · Uncategorized

2020….

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We’re only 3 and a half months in and what an epic year it’s been, so far. It can only get better right? Let’s hope.

2020, the year everything stopped, literally…EVERYTHING.

The year schools closed. Graduations cancelled. Weddings postponed, some cancelled, some went on with a slight change of plans.

People started hoarding toilet paper. For reasons I’m still not clear on. FYI, panic hoarding has moved to pasta, dried beans and rice. Seriously, go try to buy a bag dried limas. You can’t.

What is now norm….

Waiting in lines to get into the grocery store, or Walmart, what ever is your preference. Wearing masks everywhere you go, including the bank. Whoever thought you would walk into a bank wearing a mask and no one calls the FBI. Strange times we live in.

Curbside pick up for food you would normally eat INSIDE your favorite restaurants. We did this last night, when you have to have Mexican food you will do anything to get it, am I right? Yes, I think I am.

Grocery workers now being considered “essential workers” and now being thanked for doing our jobs rather than being yelled at for doing our jobs (You’re welcome)

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I mean seriously, if it weren’t for us grocery workers you wouldn’t have toilet paper.

2020…

The year hospital ships are docked in 2 major shipping ports in the US to help take stress off of the hospitals and the amazing healthcare workers who put their lives on the line daily to care for the sick and dying. Thank you, you incredible heroes for your selfless dedication to the care of others.

The year central park was turned into a field hospital to help in the care of those sick in NYC.

The year churches were closed. We now stream our services and can go to church in our pjs.

So many things, I could go on forever.

Welcome to the covidverse.

Change · Covid-19 · Life · Life Changes · New Normal · Uncategorized

The New Normal

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The streets have less cars on them. There’s no one at the restaurants, Except for those picking up to go orders. Drive thrus are busier than normal. There are now lines to get into grocery stores and only so many people allowed inside at a time. Maybe this will stop the panic hoarding. Every morning I watch the people rush into our store and the first place they go is the toilet paper aisle. Do they really need that toilet paper? Probably not since we see the same people every morning.

We’re ordered to stay home, except for essential business.  It’s rare to see someone without a mask on their face. We can’t hug our friends. You never know who may be carrying this virus.

and…..

We can’t gather as a church family to celebrate Resurrection day.

What a strange world we live in.

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Covid-19 · Life · Life Changes · Uncategorized

Life As We Know It…

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A day in the life of a grocery employee….

I never thought I would live in a time where the words “I’m going to the store to see what groceries I can find” would come out of my mouth,  Yet here were are. People wait at the doors before they open, Some even pound on them to be let in before everyone else.  Employees have to call to be let into the store, It’s like a covert operation. Though it is starting to get a little better, people still flock to the stores and buy much more than necessary (what will they do with all the toilet paper when this is over?) Until yesterday I wouldn’t let my 72 year old mother out of the house. I asked my facebook people if I knew anyone locally making masks. A friend brought me 2 she had made. I feel a little better about letting mom go to the store if she needs to, but not much. Unfortunately if we employees want anything, we have to be part of the heard at the doors before 6am or buy before our shift, if we are lucky enough to have an opening shift. Even then you still may not get what you need or want. We have dedicated elderly hours. Can we please have dedicated “Employee only” hours?

Our department managers are doing the best they can to get product back on the shelves. They order and order but the warehouses can only do so much as well. It’s a domino effect. Stripe the stores clean and you stripe the warehouses clean because they have more than one empty store to refill. When supply is greater than demand it’s no problem but the tables have turned. Will things get back to normal? Sure but it will take a while.

My town/county has been hit but not as hard as some areas of the state. The worst hit in my county has been the Navajo Nation. There have been a few local cases but not many. What is scary is that, soon, the summer residents will be coming up from the hardest hit areas of the state. Putting more stress on our already depleted resources (Yes I know it’s like that everywhere).   I don’t know what they think they will find. Everything is closed. We can’t gather. Heck, today is Palm Sunday and we can’t even go to church, Thank goodness for technology and we can listen to our pastors online.

On the brighter side of things, people seem to be a little nicer, a little more patient. I did, in the beginning, hear one customer complaining to management about the lack of toilet paper (had he been watching the news?) From a personal perspective, I get yelled at (about things completely out of my control) a lot less than normal. I get thanked for doing my job (which is completely unheard of in my department)

Anyway, I could go on rambling for hours.

We’ll get through this, just hang in there…

 

PS…Please stop buying all the paper products…

Facebook · Life · Life Changes · Social Media · Uncategorized

Purging Social Media

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I’m social media purging. This month I have deactivated 2 twitter accounts and just closed a blog. I never use the twitter accounts so they won’t be missed and I got tired of the book blog. It started to become too much. I felt like I was constantly sitting on my computer putting blog posts together. I have better things to do with my life than to be on social media every waking moment of my life. I feel like Facebook may be next. I just don’t feel the need to know every aspect of a person’s life.

Change · Life · Life Changes

Change

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The winds of change are blowing. Moving life in another direction and it is freeing. The heart is lighter. The mind needs a little help and healing but it will get there. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes a while to heal wounds and retrain the mind.

Getting Older · Life Changes · Social Media

2018 The Year Of….

2018

The year of what? I have absolutely no idea. but I have been doing some thinking about some things. The biggest thing is social media. I hate it. I’m not a person who needs to know every moment of a person’s life. I’m not the girl who sits on Facebook 24/7. I have other things to do. Books to read. Life to live. Don’t get me wrong, I do things on Facebook. I have pages and groups I follow. It’s just not my life. I go in, I do what I want to do and then I leave.

I turned 47 a week ago. A couple weeks prior to Christmas I had reality hit me in the face and I sort of went into a mild depression. I realized that life passes us by. We get older. Others get older and we don’t give it another thought. Until something comes across a news feed and you’re like “wow when did that happen” or “They can’t be that old” or “They haven’t been married that long” but then you realize that yeah they are and they have because you, yourself, are pushing 50. Slam dunk right into reality.

So, as a result, I made a couple desicions. I’m going to go out more. I have friends. I need to spend time with them. I have a guy whom I’ve pushed away and pushed away, yet he’s still there. I want to dig deeper into that.

Life is for living.