Change · Family · Life · Life Changes · Loss · New Normal · Uncategorized

RIP Dad

What a week this has been. My last post was about the end of life and that time has come. My dad left us at 4am this morning. My mom woke me up and my first thought was “thank you Jesus” because now he is at rest. He has his perfect heavenly body. Completely healed and the best of all…He is with Jesus, whom he loved so much.

Our church family has been with us every step of the way and I couldn’t ask for better people in my life. So now mom and I carry on together. We’re sad because he isn’t with us anymore but rejoicing because he is in the arms of Jesus, where he’s wanted to be for so long.

So…Here’s to ya dad. Love you and we will miss you but we’ll see you again one day.

And above all…thank you for being the dad you didn’t have to be…

Family · Life · Life Changes · Loss · Uncategorized

A Little Thinking Out loud

Recently I was told that I think my life is worse than others. I don’t, but there are things going on in my life that are exceptionally difficult. Daily dealing with a person who is dying is hard, especially when it’s a parent. Death is a part of life and, I’d hope, every adult knows this. When my father died, it was instant. A massive heart attack and he was gone. This is much different. dementia and Parkinson’s is a hellish thing that no one should have to go through. I’m not sure what is worse…living with these afflictions or watching them play out daily. Some days you just wish it would end and one day it will. Then what?

Mom and I have had some good talks and the other day I said that, in the end, there will so many emotions. Relief that it’s over, guilt for feeing the relief, sorrow….you get my point.

So much is up in the air. The only thing that is sure is that God is in control and everything happens in his time.

Family · Life · Loss · Uncategorized

Family Above All

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Right now, and for the last several weeks, my world has revolved around my family. My parents mostly. My dad is in his final days of life. Yesterday my mom was asked if she had his arrangements made and that if anyone needs to see him they need to do it now.

I’m not sorry for being selfish. I’m not sorry for not being the person some expect me to be. No one’s opinion of me really matters right now, not that it ever really did. I no longer have the energy to fight. I very rarely do something for me these days. So if I am on social media doing things, commenting or active on other websites, that’s because at that moment it was all about me. I have to take moments when I can get them. If others can’t understand that…So be it. I have enough on my plate right now to care what others think.

So…All that being said…To my family and friends who do understand, I love you and I cherish you and thank you for being in my life.

 

2020 · Change · Friends · Life · Life Changes · Loss · Music · Uncategorized

Can We Turn Back Time?

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I think we need to turn back the clock to December 31, 2019 and start this year over….Only with a better outcome. This week has been especially weird. My friend’s mother passed away. Another friend of a friend went into the hospital and may not make it. Last night another friend’s grandpa died.  None of these are covid related. And on top of all of that…..

Melissa Etheridge’s son died of a drug overdose

and….

I cut my finger at work.

Stick a fork in me, I’m done….

Family · Friends · God · Life · Loss

My 2013 Year Review

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My year started out just like any other year. Same ole same ole. Work was going well, aside from the loss of my boss and friend. That broke my heart. Family was good. As we did the year before my niece and I started our plans for our trip to Comic-Con in San Diego. In March my volunteer work came to an end as I was kicked out of the group for reasons I am still unclear of. No big loss there really.

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In may my mom and I made a trip to Phoenix to see Chris Tomlin in concert at Grand Canyon University. Check one off my bucket list. It was a great couple of days with my mom shopping and seeing this concert. The energy in the stadium as we all praised God was amazing.

Finally July came and my niece and I were off on our road trip to San Diego.

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This trip is always so much fun. There is never a minute that there isn’t something happening somewhere in downtown San Diego. Once we arrived we hung out at the convention center for a while as we had some time before picking up our friend at the airport.

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I found this while going upstairs to pick up our badges 🙂

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Ballroom 20 line

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Inside ballroom 20

We saw the Vampire Diaries cast again

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We saw the Once Upon a Time cast

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We also got to see part of the Once Upon a Time in Wonderland pilot.

and there there were the headless horsemen from Sleepy Hollow

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The whole trip started with a midnight showing of “Psych The Musical”

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We also saw the True Blood panel…minus Alexander Skarsgard and Stephen Moyer.

I could spend hours going on about what we did and who we saw.

The Walking Dead cast showed up at the Hilton

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In at the end of August my heart fell apart and part of my world ended.  My dad passed away. I can’t tell you how it feels to be 2 states away when your parent is slipping away. That was the worst phone call I’ve ever gotten. I really had no idea what to do. I just sat here waiting for a call back that my dad made it. Sadly that wasn’t the second call I got. So I went to my moms house and cried on her shoulder.  In September I flew to Houston to say goodbye to my dad for the last time.

In the process I did get to see some family I hadn’t seen in a long time

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My favorite cousin and I

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My amazing uncle 🙂

And THEN…In October my mom and I again went to Phoenix. This time to see Stephen Curtis Chapman with Laura Story and Jason Gray.

So as you can see it’s been a good year mixed with a lot of sadness.